There are few life events that bring more change … or more joy … than a new baby! Here is some grandmotherly advice for new moms who are navigating this wonderful change.
GIVE YOURSELF TIME to adjust. I’ve seen new moms (actually I was one myself years ago) who try to get back to “normal” too quickly. Lots of rest and lots of time cuddling your baby and looking into his/her beautiful eyes is the best use of your time while you get used to being a mom. The cuddling time is the best thing for both of you. It helps you to create a bond that will be calming to both of you and a good start for your long-term relationship with this little person.
LET THE DUST BUNNIES gather. Clean and tidy is nice, but it’s not everything. You WILL have time later, and you WILL feel better and have more energy later. It might help to focus on one area of your room and keep it neat, even if everything else is messy for a while. As you heal and settle into a rhythm with your little one, you will begin to feel more confident and in control.
WHEN SOMEONE OFFERS TO HELP, let them. For the first few weeks, there is an incredible amount of healing and change going on in your body. There is also a huge social and emotional shift happening inside of you and your family, which is every bit as dramatic as the physical part. Letting friends and family help out is great for everyone. It can help to keep you happy and healthy so you can be there for your baby, and it gives other people a chance to feel important in your life. If you don’t have any family available, reach out to your doula, your healthcare providers, and maybe your church for ideas.
SPEAKING OF REACHING OUT, that’s a great skill to cultivate. If you have a doula, she is a great resource for information and reassurance, so let her know how she can help you. Some new mothers struggle with depression for a while. This usually resolves by itself, but if you find yourself feeling overwhelmed, having difficulty coping, or having thoughts of suicide, please call 2-1-1 or reach out to a mental health professional right away.
REMEMBER HOW STRONG YOU ARE. You just went through labor and childbirth, right? You participated in the miracle of giving life to a new person, and you did it with courage and strength. Meditate on the wonder of it all!
